dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I feel like a drive thru vagina
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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