I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
