I heard we made out
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
