I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Randomize
