Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
