How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize