Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
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