C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize