i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
You smell like stripper and shame
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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