what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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