sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
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