the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
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