I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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