I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
