did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
