I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
