The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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