I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
