I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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