No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
