If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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