i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
