Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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