I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
