ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
