Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
i think my cat just said my name.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
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