Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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