And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
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