You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Randomize
