Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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