We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
