The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Randomize
