Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
