He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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