just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
well you can't waste a boner
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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