i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
