I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize