apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
They are going to name an STD after you.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
