Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize