I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
