Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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