We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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