DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
