...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Randomize
