the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
