We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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