How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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