You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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