love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Randomize
