Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Randomize
