you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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