he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
