If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I supernannyed him into submission
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize