we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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