I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
