Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
All I want is dick and wine.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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