just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
