i can't believe i had my finger in that
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
We have so much sex to catch up on
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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