i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
