So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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