They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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