There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize