You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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