i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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