he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
