i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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