I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
