I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
