Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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