Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
So gin and wine won't be happening again
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
I'm really busy with my period
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