Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
