jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
