I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
